“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”
- Roy T. Bennett
As an elected official I have always appreciated how we, as elected leaders communicate with our residents. I was giving thought to this on Monday this week when I came across an article on the “Opinion” page of the Chicago Tribune, which referenced how good communication could lead to resolving the polarization that exists in our country. I found that premise quite interesting, and decided to do a little research on the art of good communication, and came across the quote that headlines my message. As I reflected on this quote, I came to the realization, that many hesitate to engage in political discourse with individuals who hold opposing views. I have heard people say that if someone supports a certain candidate or holds a different political view, they choose not to communicate or associate with that individual. Rather than engage in open conversation that might lead to a better understanding of their views, we either take the easy road, remaining quiet, or we walk away from long lasting relationships.
In today’s polarized society, effective communication is more important than ever. When we listen to respond rather than to understand, we often reinforce existing divides. People become entrenched in their own viewpoints, focused on proving their own position rather than considering the perspective of others. This leads to miscommunication, distrust, and deeper division. However, if we shift our approach to truly listening, in other words, “listening with curiosity,” we understand not just the words, but the emotions, values, and experiences behind them; we open the door to more meaningful conversations.
In a polarized world, the act of genuinely listening, without judgement or the immediate need to reply, can become a powerful tool for healing differences. When people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to engage in honest discussions, rather than retreating into their own echo chamber. Through these conversations, we can begin to rebuild connections and reduce the polarization that separates us, moving toward a more unified and empathetic society.