We don’t know them all, but we owe them all

“We don’t know them all, but we owe them all” - Unknown

“Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt

It had been close to 30 years since I last saw him; we were friends in high school, spending time outside of school meeting at each other’s home, going to a movie or just driving around in his GTO with the “bobble head” dog in the back window. We talked about our futures; I was headed off for college with no idea of a field of study, and he was giving thought to joining the army in the midst of the Vietnam War. The summer after graduation in 1968 we saw each other occasionally, as we each prepared to move on with our lives, me to college, him to the military. We lost touch after that summer, and I didn’t find out until several years later that he had lost his life defending our country in Vietnam.

My family planned a trip to Myrtle Beach during the summer of 1997, and decided to detour and visit Washington DC prior to reaching our Myrtle Beach destination. Of course, the teacher in me led the entire family on a walking tour of all the monuments, as I sought to provide a brief history lesson for my sons. When we came to the Vietnam War Memorial, I remembered my friend, and thought that finding his name on that wall, and etching it would be my tribute to him. There is a book on a pedestal at the entrance to the memorial, where you can find the name of a fallen soldier and the panel that contains their name. I soon found myself walking alone in what seemed like the silence of a church, when I came to the panel with his name on it.  As I walked forward to etch his name, I was hit by a wave of emotion and found tears rolling down my face. I not only found a sadness for him, but for the 55,000 men and women whose names marked those walls. I realized that they never had a chance to have the life I enjoyed as a result of their ultimate sacrifice. I never completed my etching but went home after that trip knowing that I owed a debt of gratitude to my friend and all those whose names were listed on that wall.

On Monday this week, I was invited to give a speech at the VFW’s Memorial Day Remembrance ceremony. I shared a story about my friend and asked everyone to not only remember those we lost in all of our wars, but to also celebrate their lives. My friend would not want me to be grieving him, but rather celebrating his life and our friendship. I believe all those whom we have lost would ask the same of their families; let us remember their sacrifice, but let us also remember how each of them touched our lives. May we always carry a bit of them in our hearts. Happy Memorial Day!